The Father He Deserves Read online

  “I got it!” Aidan cried. “You and Dad can get married.

  “Then we can all move into the new house when it’s put together. Like a family.”

  Natalie’s gaze drifted across the road. “I wish it could be that simple, A, but it’s not.”

  “Why?”

  Natalie shot Evan a pleading look.

  “Hey, buddy. Sometimes moms and dads live together and sometimes they don’t. Even though we don’t live together, that doesn’t change how we feel about you.”

  “But I want us to be a family with one house, not two.”

  Truth be told, at one time, Evan had wanted the same thing.

  But things were different now.

  He and Nat were different.

  He wanted a wife who could trust him with her deepest fears and secrets—with her whole heart.

  And that wasn’t Natalie.

  As much as Evan wanted to make his son’s wish come true, there was too much to overcome before they all could be the family that Aidan wanted...

  Heart, home and faith have always been important to Lisa Jordan, so writing stories with those elements comes naturally. Happily married for over thirty years to her real-life hero, she and her husband have two grown sons, and they are embracing their new season of grandparenting. Lisa enjoys quality time with her family, reading good books and being creative with friends. Learn more about her and her writing by visiting www.lisajordanbooks.com.

  Books by Lisa Jordan

  Love Inspired

  Lakeside Reunion

  Lakeside Family

  Lakeside Sweethearts

  Lakeside Redemption

  Lakeside Romance

  Season of Hope

  A Love Redeemed

  The Father He Deserves

  Visit the Author Profile page at Harlequin.com.

  THE FATHER HE DESERVES

  Lisa Jordan

  Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

  —Joshua 1:9

  To my family members and friends who battle fear and anxiety on a daily basis. I’m not naming you, but you know who you are. You are warriors! Embrace His grace to live your best life. I love you!

  Acknowledgments

  Thank you to Jeanne Takenaka, Tari Faris, Mindy Obenhaus, Mandy Boerma, Alena Tauriainen, Pennylynn Moga, Carrie Padgett, Kathy Copen, Keli Gwyn, Christina Myerly, Jamie Jo Wright and Tonya LaCourse for brainstorming, book research and beta reading.

  Thanks to my MBT Core team, JOY Seekers, Coffee Girls and WWC family—your prayers and encouragement keep me going...and growing. I love you all.

  Thank you to my family—Patrick, Mitchell, Scott, Sarah and Bridget. You are my strongest cheerleaders and reasons for reaching for my dreams. I love you forever.

  Thanks to Rachelle Gardner and Melissa Endlich for continually encouraging and inspiring me to grow as a writer. So thankful you’re on my team. And to the Love Inspired team who works hard to bring my books to print.

  Finally, and most important, to Jesus, who helps me to be brave so I can live my best life.

  Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Epilogue

  Dear Reader

  Excerpt from A Dream of Family by Jill Weatherholt

  Chapter One

  Evan hated returning home a failure.

  He wanted nothing more than to hole up in his restored 1970s RV, dubbed the Water Wagon by his River Rats teammates, watch his favorite paddling channel on his laptop, and drown his sorrows with a dripping burger and greasy fries, but that wasn’t the Holland way. Especially since he’d driven through the night to surprise his dad for his sixty-fifth birthday. Maybe with the early-evening backyard barbecue going on, he could dodge questions he had no desire to answer.

  For a few hours, at least.

  After coming up the back side of Holland Hill, Evan parked his RV on the other side of the barn, pocketed his keys and gave River, his rescued yellow Labrador retriever, an affectionate pat. “Ready to go to a party?”

  River’s tail thumped against the cushion on the passenger seat and he lifted his nose into Evan’s hand. Evan exited the RV, rounded the front and opened the passenger door. After releasing River from his seat belt harness, he clipped a leash onto his collar and stepped back as the yellow Lab jumped to the ground. Evan turned and nearly whacked his elbow on the open door. His muscles tensed and pulled across his back. Muscles still recovering from the traumatic kayak flip and dunking that had jeopardized his paddling career.

  “Come on, River. Let’s go find Dad.”

  The Holland Family Farm sat atop Holland Hill on the outskirts of Shelby Lake in northwestern Pennsylvania. The early-August heat blanketed Evan. A breeze brushed his face, carrying the scent of freshly cut and rolled bales of hay drying in the fields.

  Evan breathed deep.

  As he passed along the barbed wire–fenced pasture, black-and-white cows eyed him, then returned to eating grass and swishing away flies with their tails. Rows of corn stood tall, ready for harvesting, the corn silk on the ears having turned from a gold to a dark brown.

  “Knee high by the Fourth of July” had been the mantra for as long as he could remember.

  Looked like it was going to be a good harvest this year.

  The farm deserved it.

  They strode past the barn, which still caused his insides to clench, and the cars and pickups lining both sides of the country road. He followed the music and laughter to the backyard.

  Curls of smoke from the grill spiraled through the air, sending scents of seared meat straight to his gut.

  His stomach rumbled.

  When was the last time he’d eaten? Probably the Snickers bar he’d bought a couple of hours ago after crossing the state line and stopping for gas.

  Rounding the corner of the farmhouse that had been home for the first couple decades of his life, his focus zeroed in on locating a burger of some sort.

  He collided with a soft body with enough of a jolt to his left arm—pinned in a surgical sling—that he sucked in a sharp breath. “Oof.”

  He dropped River’s leash and shot out a hand to steady the person wearing a navy baseball hat and sunglasses. “Sorry. Are you okay?”

  The person looked up. Despite the oversize frames shielding her eyes, he’d recognize that heart-shaped face in a lineup.

  His heart shuddered to a stop.

  “Nat.” Her name wheezed out as his eyes widened.

  Her dark brown hair had been pulled into a ponytail and looped through the back opening in her hat. She wore a pink T-shirt printed with the word LOVE, a paw print replacing the O. Her cuffed navy shorts exposed long legs.

  Looking as gorgeous as ever.

  She removed her sunglasses slowly and assessed him with those bottle-green eyes, hard as glass. “Evan.”

  She took in his rumpled olive T-shirt emblazoned with Go Big or Go Home—the irony not lost on him, faded jeans with a threadbare patch on the thigh and worn leather flip-flops. Maybe he sho
uld have changed into something more presentable. At least he’d had the foresight to get his mop chopped and shave the six-week growth from his face.

  Her eyes settled on River, heeled at his side, her lips lifting into a smile. Then she shifted her attention to Evan’s left arm, the smile giving way to a frown. “What happened?”

  “Arthroscopic shoulder surgery.”

  “Sounds painful.”

  “Yeah, the last few weeks haven’t been the most pleasant.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.” She took a few steps toward the driveway. “Listen, I was just heading out, so I can’t really chat.”

  He reached forward and touched her elbow. “It was...great to see you again. Maybe we can grab coffee soon or something. Catch up. You know—for old times’ sake.”

  “Maybe.” She returned her sunglasses to her face and shot him a brief smile, then turned and hurried across the freshly trimmed grass to climb into a royal blue SUV.

  Natalie Bishop.

  Not so much the one who got away.

  More like the one who pushed him away, wrecking his heart.

  No matter how much he had tried to convince her Ben’s accident was just that, she’d continued to blame him for her brother’s death.

  A loud and slightly off-key rendition of “Happy Birthday” sounded from the backyard.

  Forcing his attention away from Nat’s taillights disappearing quickly over the hill, Evan turned and reached for River’s leash. He edged his way through the crowd, then dropped his right arm around his dad’s shoulders and chimed in on the last few words.

  Dressed in an untucked light blue short-sleeved button-down shirt, khaki shorts, and his ever-present white socks and white sneakers combo, Dad turned. Tall and thin with short, graying hair and weathered skin that showed his love of the outdoors, a huge grin split his face. “Evan!”

  He wrapped Evan in a hug so tight he sucked air through clenched teeth once again.

  For a moment, though, he allowed himself to relax and forget about the last four weeks, and how anxiety and loneliness had taken up residence in his soul.

  Dad released him and looked at him through misty eyes. Then, noticing the sling bracing his left arm against his body, he frowned. “What happened?”

  Before he could respond, his older brothers, Jake and Tucker, rallied around them with Jake’s pregnant wife, Tori, and Tucker’s fiancée, Isabella, shadowing them. His six-year-old twin niece and nephew, Olivia and Landon, barreled into his legs. “Uncle Evan!”

  He knelt on the grass and wrapped both of them in a one-armed hug. “Hey, monkeys. I think you’ve grown two feet since I saw you last.”

  Livie, her blond hair pulled into a ponytail, grinned, exposing missing teeth. She cupped his cheek. “Uncle Evan, you’re so silly. We were born with two feet.”

  “What happened to your arm?” Landon pointed to the blue sling.

  “While practicing for a race, I cared more about my buddy gaining on me than watching where I was going. I hit a dead tree in the water and flipped my kayak, dislocating my shoulder. I had surgery about a month ago.”

  “Surgery? Why didn’t you say something? I would have been there for you.” Dad frowned. Despite his level tone, Evan heard what he wasn’t saying.

  Yeah, he should have called and told him about the surgery. But it was his mess. He couldn’t depend on anyone else to help fix his problems.

  Evan pushed to his feet. “You have enough to worry about with the Fatigues to Farming program starting up.”

  Dad gave him a pointed look. “You’re my son. Nothing is more important than family. Nothing.”

  Glancing at the people watching them, Evan shrugged and tried not to wince. He wanted to believe his father’s words, but experience had taught him he was better off handling things on his own.

  “You always were so independent.”

  Not always by choice.

  Dad pulled him into another hug, gentler this time. Then he grabbed two bottles of water out of the round tub of slushy ice, slid an arm around his shoulders and drew him away from the crowd.

  “I’m glad you’re home, Ev. How long are you staying?”

  Evan let out a breath.

  Home.

  Where was that exactly?

  Even though he’d grown up on the dairy farm, it hadn’t quite felt like home since the tornado nearly destroyed the place and killed their mother seven years ago.

  Without Mom, his strongest supporter, it just wasn’t the same.

  Braceleting River’s leash, Evan jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “Well, I brought the Water Wagon, so I guess I’m like a turtle—my home is always with me.”

  Dad handed him one of the bottles of water. “That’s great when you’re on the road, chasing after competitions, but for as long as you’re here, stay at the farmhouse and let us take care of you. You know Claudia won’t have it any other way.”

  As if on cue, his stepmother’s infectious laughter caught the breeze. Marrying Evan’s mother’s best friend since college had been good for his dad...for both of them. He and Claudia understood grief and the beauty of second chances.

  Evan’s gaze drifted toward the old farmhouse that had been in the family for three generations, untouched by the tornado’s destruction.

  He didn’t want to refuse the invitation, but he’d kind of gotten used to coming and going whenever he wanted since leaving home to fulfill his paddling dreams. And, well, the RV had become his refuge when he couldn’t sleep and the walls started closing in. During those nights, he’d climb on top and stretch out under the stars to level out his breathing.

  He couldn’t do that from inside the farmhouse.

  “Thanks, Dad. I don’t want to put you out. I’ll park the Water Wagon on my piece of property and stay out of everyone’s way.” Evan uncapped the water bottle and downed half of the icy liquid.

  Dad pointed the bottle at him. “You’re never in the way. I want you here. For as long as you want to stay.”

  What Evan wanted and what he’d settled for had been two different things.

  Evan swallowed an uncharacteristic lump in his throat and lifted his eyes to the apple orchard hemming the backyard, branches heavy with ripening fruit. “Thanks, Dad.”

  As if sensing Evan’s shift in emotions, River leaned against his leg and Evan ran his fingers over the dog’s fur.

  “You’re good with him.” Dad lowered to his haunches and rested his elbows on his knees.

  Evan patted River’s side. “He’s a good boy. Found him abandoned by the river about six months ago, half-starved. Not sure which one of us rescued the other.”

  “He knows your triggers.”

  “Triggers for what?”

  His father eyed him. “Don’t play me, Ev. I may be getting older, but I’m no fool. River senses your anxiety and calms you.”

  Heat flashed across Evan’s face. And here he thought he was coming off cool and collected. He never could pull a fast one on his dad.

  “After the accident...”

  Evan’s heart rate picked up as the memory of the roaring water thundered in his ears, crashing over him. His kayak flipping. He plunged beneath the surface, slamming his head and shoulder against an underwater rock. His foot caught in the downed tree limbs. Pinned. Trapped.

  Surges of water choked his throat. Couldn’t breathe. Air. He needed air.

  “Evan. You okay?”

  Something wet and warm nudged his hand.

  Evan’s eyes flew open.

  Early-evening sunshine and farmland replaced the churning icy river.

  Dad watched him, deep lines etching his forehead and bracketing his mouth.

  Pulling in ragged breaths, Evan scrubbed a shaking hand over his face, his skin slick and clammy. He forced his heaving chest to calm and reached for River once again.<
br />
  Evan’s gaze darted around the farm, taking in guests playing cornhole, children racing with the family dogs, people sitting in lawn chairs under the shade trees. He settled on his father’s worried face.

  With his arms crossed over his chest, Dad frowned. “How long have you been experiencing PTSD symptoms?”

  “PT—what? No way. Not me.” Evan shook his head, then dropped his gaze to the grass. “I’ve never served in the military. They wouldn’t take me, remember?”

  Another reminder he didn’t fit in with his God-loving, country-serving family.

  “Servicemen and -women aren’t the only ones who deal with PTSD. Any kind of trauma can cause it. Including an accident. And the way River just responded to you makes me think you could be an asset to a side project we’re developing within our Fatigues to Farming program if you’re planning to stay awhile.”

  “How so?”

  “Tuck’s sister-in-law, Willow, approached us about partnering with Zoe Sullivan at Canine Companions and training her rescued dogs to be paired with veterans going through our program.”

  “Dad, I’m a paddler, not a dog trainer.”

  Was a paddler.

  “You’re an animal whisperer—you always have been. Even growing up, when you became too stressed out, we could find you outside romping with the dogs, petting calves inside the barn and brushing down the horses. Planning to stick around for a bit?”

  Evan nodded toward his sling. “Can’t paddle with a bum shoulder. I need this for a couple more weeks, then I’ll go through physical therapy to regain range of motion in my arm. With this season definitely cut short for me, I figured I’d hang out with the family for a while and see what my future holds.”

  Dad placed a large, callused hand on the back of Evan’s neck and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry. I know what being on the water means to you. I wish you’d told me about your accident. No one should go through that alone. I would’ve been there for you.”

  “Thanks, Dad. But you have a lot going on right now.”

  “Like I said—there’s nothing more important than family. Remember that. What do you think about working with Zoe and Natalie, and helping us to develop this component of the program?”